Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Story #4 - No Phone

Here's a new story. Remember, stories can be fictional or non-fictional. This one is fictional. Please, send some stories! It's not supposed to be just me here, I wanted there to be a community of sorts. But oh well! Here it is.


No Phone
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

Without thinking I picked up my telephone and threw it out the second-story window. I stopped. I stood there, and I couldn't even hear it smash as it hit the ground. When I looked over the edge of the window I saw it in tiny pieces, next to some birds. There was an orange cat out there as well, surprised, but ready to continue.

Someone tried to call me after that, but I didn't hear it. I was in my bed, asleep. Now if people want to contact me they have to write me a letter. I don't mind costing people postage. I'm wondering what would happen if I changed my address without telling anyone. Could they find me then? How far does information travel?

I don't know why I want to do this. I don't mind people. Hell, I like people. I think it's just that I want to know certain things. I want the knowledge that only comes from being at a disadvantage. Is that wrong? I'd like to see what it would be like.

I don't believe that everything happens for a reason.


Thursday, May 24, 2007

Story #3 - Cheese Grater

Here's what's up: I'm going to try to post a new story here every Thursday. If I get more submissions, of course, I'll post more often, but you will get one new story from me every week.

So here's this week's one:


Cheese Grater
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

I was grating Parmesan cheese the other day, to make a salad, when I thought to myself, what else can I grate with this? So I took a knife and I used my grater and I grated it. The knife was in very small pieces.

Feeling good, I turned the cheese grater on to everything in the house. My toaster is now like a pile of ashes. I started with metal things, then went on to fruits, vegetables, meats, yogurt, jars of pickles, and anything else I could find in the fridge. I went upstairs and grated everything in the bathroom, then I went to my room and grated my walls, my posters, my boxes of things. I tried grating the cat but she got upset, and scratched me, and I respected that, so I left her alone.

Eventually I went outside and started using the grater on the walls itself. It cut through the bricks. Eventually part of the house fell down around me, and I feared I was trapped. But, I just grated my way out.

Now me and my cheese grater travel around the earth, looking for things to grate. It is amazing how satisfied I feel. You don't even know. It's a feeling that I don't think I can describe. It's knowing that you can do anything, knowing that you have a purpose in this world, that you are good for at least one thing. I think that's what it's like.


Friday, May 18, 2007

Story #2 - Trash Can

Here's the second story. Why don't you submit a story as well? It is easy to do. I am writing these stories but you do not need to follow my examples! Only the rules. So, with that in mind:


Trash Can
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

Walking down the street I saw a trash can on the corner. It was nearly full. Without thinking I ran up to it and pushed it over, spilling all of its contents out onto the sidewalk. There were people around who gave me strange looks, but I didn't mind. All of this garbage was just on the floor, old kleenexes, soda cans, McDonalds bags, a few pens, and what appeared to be a dead animal.

Then I started dancing around it, sure in my joy, screaming things out loud. I took some of the garbage and I put it on myself. Then I climbed into the empty trash can, and shouted, I am a grouch, I am a homeless person! I was good at being inconsiderate. I rolled around in the trash until even I couldn't stand the stench.

A week later I was told I had several diseases, but I didn't mind so much. I just waited for them to go away. I still keep some of the garbage in my home, just as a reminder.


Saturday, May 12, 2007

First Story

Here is the first story of the Land of Bad Decisions. I wrote this story in about five minutes, maybe an hour before I performed it at the Terpoets open mic. It is very simple. Note: stories do not have to end the way that I ended my story; they can end in any way they need to.

* * *

by Dan Schwartz

On a whim, I decided to try to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

I decided to try to kick a pigeon. I wandered city streets and plazas, looking for my chance. I went to parks and statues. Finally I saw a fat, plump one eating some discarded bread. I lifted my leg back, and let it swing through. I made contact with it and sent it flying a couple of feet. I felt great. I had finally accomplished a dream!

But what I did not know was that it was a carrier pigeon, and that it was heartsick, and that it was angry at the world. It looked at me with hatred in its eyes, then flew up and pecked its beak into my face. I ran down the park, the pigeon attached to me. Young couples did not notice, but some small kids and adults did. When I got to the subway I knew that I had to convince the pigeon to leave. I begged with him, but he just stayed. He wanted to know, what kind of stupid fucking asshole was I? Eventually I was able to tear him away.

He said, what the fuck, man. What the fuck. I had no answers. This was the kind of thing that I would have to deal with. I told him I'm sorry, but that's the way I am. He took off and shat on my head. I stopped by a restaurant to wash myself off. I was not ashamed. I even ordered some nice food afterwards.

I am happy here in the land of bad decisions. There is a good rent here. Neighbors are unkind, but they don't bother me. I have fun times. Maybe you would like to visit. I don't know. I can't tell. Well. I have to talk to my landlord about the water problem though.

* * *

The Rules

Here are THE RULES for the Land of Bad Decisions writing blog:

1. Submissions must begin with this: "I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions."

2. Submissions can either be fictional or non-fictional.

3. Submissions end when they are done.

4. Submissions must be about a bad decision.

5. Submissions must be sent to djfschwartz [at] gmail [dot] com, with the subject line being "LOBD."

That's about it. Amendments may be made at a later time, determined by necessity.

What It's All About

This is a writing blog, compiling stories and poems that will be sent in that all follow a certain theme. I came up with this after writing a quick story about a bad decision. While taking an exam, I realized that it would actually make a good series of stories, and that everyone should be able to participate.

So, with that in mind, I am setting up this blog. How it works is, you write a story, following the rules that will be posted in The Rules post. Then, email it to me. Then I put it on this website. Simple. That's about it. Why am I doing this? Cause I think it would be fun.

Really I am just soliciting stories and poems, or whatever it is you want to write. I know there are a lot of talented writers out there. I'd love to see what it is that you can come up with.

Email questions and submissions to: djfschwartz [at] gmail [dot] com.

-Dan Schwartz