Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Story #8 - Hoarding Soap

Kind of strange today, please do not mind. And please write a better story than me and send it to me.

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Hoarding Soap
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

In the shower, I held the bar of soap in my hand and slowly turned it around and around in my fingers, feeling the ivory or whatever sliding between my fingers, and I knew that this is what my life should be made of. So I went to the grocery store after I got dressed and bought every pack of soap that they had. After that, I went to the next grocery store and I did the same thing.

I kept the the bars in the bathroom, but eventually I just started throwing them anywhere I could. Over the bedroom, around the TV, under the sink, in the basement. People wouldn't come over any more because there was no place to sit. When I went out anywhere I'd always carry two bars of soap with me, just in case.

I never opened the boxes, oh no. I just liked having them there. Someone suggested the term security blanket, well, I don't know. Maybe. It was a comfort, I'll say that.

Then one night the water pipes in my house broke and the place became flooded, and the next thing I knew I was riding a wave of soap water, of discharge. I grabbed what I could and floated away. It's all gone, now. And so am I. Once you've gone somewhere like that, you can't go back. Nothing else comes close.

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Story #7 - Robbing a Bank

Here's another story, sorry if it is late. Please remember to send submissions of your own!

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Robbing a Bank
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

I was just going to deposit my check like a regular person, just do everything normal, when suddenly on the back of the slip I wrote a little note. Just to tell the teller how I felt. I got in line and waited. If it had been a minute more I might have turned around.

I got to the window and handed the slip. I had written,

Dear Teller,

This is a robbery. I have a gun. Please put in an envelope as much money as you can. I am serious.

Signed,

(But I didn't sign it at the end.)

The teller looked at me for a minute. Then she said, "Can I see it?"

"What?" I said.

"Your gun. I want to see it."

"Uh--"

"Right. One moment, sir." She must have hit an alarm or something, because next thing I know I'm on the floor.

They were lenient with me because I they said I was the stupidest person they had ever met, but I still had to do some jail time. Jail, to me, is not the land of bad decisions. For some it's a stop along the way. For others it's what happens when you've just missed it. The exit after the one you wanted.

I cannot wait to get out.

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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Story #6 - Mexico

Another story from me this week, a little different though.

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Mexico
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

Except sometimes you don't realize that something is a bad decision until after it happens. You can feel it running through you. Like hearing a rolling thunder and then still jumping at the flash of lightning. You know something is coming.

For example, I took a vacation to Mexico. I had most of it planned out. Then I thought I would deviate a little, and I went to a place I had never heard of, just to see what was there.

Now that I am in jail I have a lot of time to think about how it started. Bad decisions beget bad decisions, one leads to another. But thinking like this is problematic. Killing him was a bad decision, yes. But if I want to know where it started, how far back would I go? As far back as leaving my vacation plan? Or even coming to Mexico in the first place? Or even further, such as being born?

But I can't think like that, because thinking like that means that everything was in place before I arrived, and that it isn't my fault. And I know that it is my fault, and I will take responsibility. I know I made a bad decision, but I just wish I knew what the first one was.

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Thursday, June 7, 2007

Story #5 - Breaking Up

Another story for you all. Please remember to submit!

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Breaking Up
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

When Jenny came over I said to her, "I'm seeing your mother."

"Oh, when?" she said. I didn't say anything. Her smile dropped. "Wait, what?" I repeated myself. She stared at me, the way someone stares out of an airplane window. "Hold on," she said. "Hold on. No. You can't be serious."

"Remember that weekend that you went away with your friends?" I said. "Well, I went over to your parents' house, and, well."

She hit me on the cheek. It turned red. "Sorry," I said.

"No you're not!" she yelled. She hit me again. She stood up, almost knocking her chair over. When she turned around I started laughing. "What in fuck is so funny?" she said, putting a full stop after each word.

"I really had you going there for a minute. Man. It's just too easy," I said.

Long story short, we're not really talking to each other anymore.

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