Here is a new story for you on this nice Thursday.
by Dan Schwartz
I was looking in my refrigerator when I noticed that a lot of the food had tiny dates printed on them, and a lot of the dates corresponded to a few months ago. The milk felt solid. I opened it up and poured myself a glass and drank it. I spat it out immediately. Then I thought, if I'm going to do this, then I have to do this right.
I ate some stale cereal. I found some raw meat, and at first I thought I was going to cook it, but then I couldn't decide. I saved it for later.
There was some brown salsa, I think it might have been guacamole once.
Some cheese I could not even cut with a knife. I had no choice but to eat it whole.
Coming back to the meat, the ground beef, I decided that raw was the only way to go. I've already made this many bad decisions, why not make another one?
I should point out here that none of this tasted very good.
Anyway. I finished it all off with a glass of water and took a walk. I didn't get very far, and decided that perhaps a hospital is needed. Still, though, I finally can say that I've done it, because I never thought that I would get the chance to.