Twenty stories is a lot of stories. For those of you who are just joining us, I run this website that posts a new story every Thursday, and I am looking for submissions, so email me your stories or poems or whatever.
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I stole a TV from a department store. It was so easy. I just picked it up, carried it out, and ran. I made sure I went on a very busy day, so that I would get lost in the crowd. I thought that no one had seen me.
I put it in my house and enjoyed all my new found television success. But I could only get broadcast channels, because I didn't want to pay for cable. So I was distraught for a while.
In time I was working on a way to try to get cable, involving much plans and blueprints and other drawings, when there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find men from the department store, holding baseball bats, asking me where the TV was.
It turned out that on their inventory they did notice that a TV was missing, and someone got out the security footage, and that the TV itself actually had a tracking device on it. Who knew, right?
They beat the shit out of me, they put me in an interrogation room and hooked me up to several devices, they kept saying things like "no one can help you now" and "you are the lowest form of scum." I thought it was a bit excessive.
Long story short, I don't have a TV or cable now anymore, but I do have many, many bruises and scars.