Sorry this one is late, I was busy today. Here you go.
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I put a thumb tack in the middle of the road, thinking that if a car drove over it the tire would explode or something. Well, it turns out that tires don't do that anymore, they can just roll right over the thing and it would be fine.
I was upset. So I got a knife and I just started slashing tires all over town. Now that was fun. I just bounded down the streets, running from side to side, cutting open the tires and hearing the sound escape.
I got to my own car and I slashed its tires, one two three four. Then I thought, well, what the hell, and I got in my car and turned it on.
It's very difficult to drive with no tires. Hearing the thunk-thunk-thunk while you're driving down the road. I didn't get very far, no. I ended up just a couple of feet from where I was when I decided to stop. Yes, I left my car in the middle of the road.
I started to feel bad - for myself, and for all the people whose tires I cut. We'd all have to buy replacements now, and we wouldn't be able to drive ourselves to do it.
I threw my knife away (on the ground) and kept walking. Well, maybe one day things will turn out allright.