Here is a new story for you, it may or may not be based on true events.
Hiking a Mountain
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I went up to hike a mountain, and I tried to do it in the exact wrong way possible.
First thing, I didn't tell anyone where I was going. I figured, who needs to know? I'll just go up and come back down. It doesn't have to be a thing. It turns out this is something you are not supposed to do, ever.
Then, I made sure I only brought with me two granola bars, as it was all I had and I was confident that I did not need anything else for sustenance. I certainly didn't bring any water.
I wore mostly the wrong clothing. I didn't even know what to wear for a mountain hike, so I put on some boots and whatever else I had on. I was ready.
I made sure I was confused about distances, so I didn't know how long the hike would last and where it would lead. I also tried my best to avoid maps, which is harder then it sounds.
I started my hike. I took the paths that were difficult, the ones that led up. About an hour or so into it, when I was getting tired, I met a bear. It looked up at me. I waved and said hello. It did not like this.
Luckily for me a passing couple took pity on me and carted my decaying flesh down the mountain, but man, let me tell you. Try not to meet a bear.