Hi everyone! Happy February, if you are interested in February. Here is a new story, and I hope you enjoy it.
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I was sitting in a booth at Hamburger Spain, having just finished my burger y queso, when I decided that I wasn’t going to move anymore. So I dropped my hands down to my lap and sat there, motionless, staring off into the distance. Luckily it was the window, so I got to see outside. It was not a nice day, having rained for the last few hours.
At first it was an endurance test. I really wanted to blink, or to scratch my nose, or straighten my hair. But then I realize it should be a test for everyone else – how would they react to me?
Other customers avoided me. One person asked, “Is this seat taken?” and then backed away slowly when I didn’t acknowledge them. Someone once sat in my line of sight, but they couldn’t handle my blank gaze.
Eventually the sky darkened and the restaurant was going to close up. The manager came. “Sir,” he said. “You’re going to have to leave.” But I was already in my rhythm, having sat still for hours and hours. He wouldn't move me.
“Ah,” he said. “I know how this is done.” He got into the seat across from me and stared at me. And he didn't move. He stared deep into my eyes. And it was unsettling, and I was scared. But I wouldn't stop. And neither, it seemed, would he.
And then his co-worker whacked me on the head with a hot frying pan, and I blacked out. But, you know. I felt like I still won.