Monday, March 22, 2010

Story #57 - Flipped Over A Table

Hi everyone, hope you are having a good time. Here is a story about something!

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Flipped Over A Table
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

I was having some tea at my place when I decided to flip over the table I was sitting at, newspaper, mug and all. It was not difficult. The mug crashed, and the table just kind of stood there on its side. It was fun. I decided to do it somewhere else.

I went to a restaurant. I ordered some fried eggs and a coffee. The server was nice. When I got my food, I immediately turned over the table. Everything landed on the floor, including a mess of napkins and some salt and pepper packets. The server reached down, took a knife off the ground, and stabbed me with it. Fortunately, it was not a major wound.

Next I went to a bar. There were a bunch of people at the same table as me, all my friends. We were having our drinks. I moved to flip the table, but it turned out it was bolted to the ground. This was a problem. Luckily, I had brought bolt cutters. "Excuse me," I said to everyone, and crouched under the table and got to work. This time I was able to flip the table just by standing up.

You read and you see videos and you think that flipping a table is cool. But they never show you the aftermath. The glaring eyes, the anger. The mess on the floor. They never, in short, say what to do next. So I just kind of stood there for a minute, and then ran away. A number of people ran after me.

So far I have flipped over 73 tables, not including ones I own that I put back up and then flipped over again. And as of this writing I have only been knocked unconscious three times.

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2 comments:

A.M. Bowen said...

Not that bad a decision.

dan schwartz said...

Maybe not all the time, but I think there are occasions where it is indecorous to do so.