Monday, March 29, 2010

Story #58 - Punched A Plate Glass Window

Good evening to you! I hope you are doing this well. This week may or may not be the start of a new thing! We shall see! But yeah, uh, Thursday might be a good day to check back with this blog.

By the way, you should be reading Newt Gingrich In Space. Just saying.

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Punched A Plate Glass Window
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

I saw this on TV once. A guy got really upset about something, and during a musical montage, he punched his fist through a window. It seemed cool. The guy had a cut on his hand, yeah, but in general he was okay - except of course for the crippling psychological damage.

So I thought, why can't I do it? The first thing I did was carefully pour a glass of whiskey, then drink the rest of the bottle. (The glass was for later.) Then I faced my opponent. It was a solid pane, and it was very clear. "Okay," I said. "Let's do this."

Well, that guy on TV must have had some arm strength (or cutaway glass) because the window just would not break. I punched it as hard as I could, but all I got was a hand that hurt. So I tried to get myself really angry. I figured that if I had to take crippling psychological damage to do this, then so be it. I thought of every fucked up thing that had happened - not just to me, but to everyone at any time. I got angry at people I loved. I imagined that there was nothing I could do, not ever, not for any time.

It worked. The glass shattered into tiny pieces.. My hand got all bloodied and dark. It was brilliant. And I immediately felt better.

Then I lost my balance. Here's a tip: don't try this on the eighth floor of an eight-story building.

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