Saturday, April 3, 2010

Story #61 - Meeting a Snake - MBD #3

Hello, the Month of Bad Decisions continues once again today! 27 left to go. Submit your own!

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Meeting a Snake
by Dan Schwartz

Meeting a Snake
By Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

In my garden yesterday I found a snake. It was about a foot or so long, and was brown with interesting scales. I had never seen one up close, and knew next to nothing about them.

At first I thought I should just run away. But then I thought – don’t snakes have like cool hallucinogenic venom or something? (Short answer: No.) So I decided to try to get the snake to bite me.

I called it a few names. I said that it was ugly, that it was stupid, that it had bad credit. No response. I picked it up, gently, and sort of threw it away. Still no reaction. It looked like it just wanted to mind its own business. So what I ended up doing was grabbing a spare violin and bashing it over the head.

Well, luckily it turned out to be just a garter snake, and it wasn’t poisonous. The bite still hurt like hell, though, and later it got infected and I had to go see someone about it.

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