Today is April 15, which means that we are halfway through the Month of Bad Decisions! Catch up with the archives here. Only fifteen more days to go. Help out by submitting your own story, poem or etcetera to the address on the right. Please enjoy today's story!
Walked into the Middle of the Road
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I was walking on the sidewalk one day, when I thought, Fuck this, who says I have to be here and the car has to be there? So I stepped into the road. It wasn’t too busy of a street, but still the drivers there had problems with me. They would honk as they passed me by. I started a running count of how many times I was honked. A long sustained one counted as two.
Luckily there were no car accidents that were immediately caused by me. But still, people in the cars hated the fact that I could be so bold. They flipped me off as they passed. Some even balled up pieces of paper and threw them at me as they passed. I could hear the cheering as they hit. One asshole even threw his car radio at me, but I picked it up and threw it right back at him, breaking his back windshield.
At which point he felt the need to stop his car and lecture me, explain to me what I was doing wrong. But I kept walking. And he followed me. Which means that even he was now getting yelled at and flipped off and having things thrown at him.
We continued on like this, past drivers and cars that were so upset at us. Some even held their fists out as they passed by so that they could hit us in the junk. By the time I was dragged forcefully out of the road by some drivers who had a rope, I counted at least 1,095 honks. Maybe one day I can beat my own record.