Hello, and good evening! If you missed it, over the weekend there were stories from a new contributor: Lewis Kelly. Please read and enjoy ! And submit your own story, it would be a good idea. In the meantime, here is today's story for the Month of Bad Decisions.
Talked at the Theatre
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I was at this play, and I didn’t like it, so I said “This is some bullshit!” out loud so that everyone could hear. I got my cell phone out and turned the ringer on, as loud as it would go. The play immediately stopped. The spotlight operator shined a light directly in my face. An announcement came on saying, “Everyone, please line up.” The entire audience, cast members, crew, director, even the ushers came and formed a single file line.
A cue was heard over the P.A., and then they slapped me. One person would go, and then another, and so on for a thousand times. Not all of them slapped me, some poked me in the eyes or tried to break my nose. One man tried to give me papercuts with his program.
After everyone was done, the last person (one of the crew) punched me right in the throat. I tried to talk, but I could only wheeze unintelligibly. He then smashed my cell phone under his foot. “Thank you,” someone said, and then the play resumed as normal, as if nothing had happened. And they wouldn’t let me leave. I had to watch the whole rest of that fucking play.