The Month of Bad Decisions continues! Here is today's story. Please enjoy.
Ate Only Salt
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I was reading this book about how salt is so great, how it changed the world and was extremely important. So I thought, maybe I will only eat salt, and then maybe in that way I too could become extremely important. I figured it was the sort of thing that never tried before because it was too good of an idea.
So in the morning I would have some salt, and also at every other time in the day. I preferred the kind that came in small cubes, as it was easier to feel like I was eating something. I wouldn’t eat salty foods, mind you. Like I’d get potato chips, but I would take all the salt from the chip, throw the chip away and then eat the salt. I’d drink water, but only if it had plenty of salt in it.
I was surprised but I wasn’t too surprised when I collapsed on the floor and was unable to move until I was hospitalized for months. After the physical therapy, I was told I could never eat salt again. But I have too much of a craving now. I am hoping that I can balance it out now by only eating sugar.