The end of the Month of Bad Decisions is in sight! Only 2 days left!
Watched Too Many Movies
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I was going to have a movie marathon. But this wasn’t going to be a lame one, that was only two or three movies. I was going to watch every movie in my collection, one after the other, only stopping for food and bathroom breaks. I wasn’t going to go outside on nice days like today. I was going to do my part.
So I started with a movie that was about three hours long, just to get into the mood. It was one I had seen a million times before. It still held up. Then I got up, put in the next one, and watched it. That was my exercise – getting up to change the movie. Although I would have preferred if my DVD player could just do that automatically, that would be great. (Later I found out about Netflix Watch Instantly, but that is another bad decision for another time.)
Two things happened to me. One, I didn’t sleep. I had accounted for the fact that I might get tired and drift off, but that didn’t occur. I stayed up and watched every second. The other thing was that after watching only movies, I started to believe that I myself was in a movie. That it was my duty assigned by the story to watch these over and over until the end of my days. If I didn’t something bad would happen. Or alternately, the hero would eventually come and wake me out of my movie-induced hibernation, and say something about “freedom” or something stupid.
Unluckily for me I had one of those new “social responsibility” TVs, so after 3,000 hours a blue screen came up saying “THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD,” and the TV shut itself off, never to be turned on again. I would have gotten upset, only I could no longer move. I was stuck to my seat.