Monday, June 21, 2010

Story #95 - Walked Through Things

Hello, hope you are having a good day so far - here is another LOBD story for you.

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Walked Through Things
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

I didn't like the idea of things being in my way. For example, a door. Why should I have to open it? It should just open on its own, or, preferably, not be there at all. So I tried to walk through it. Now, obviously, I met with some initial difficulty. No matter how many times I walked into it, the door still remained. So I tried maybe running into it, or breaking it down. The door began to weaken. It took a very, very long time, but finally I managed to smash the door, and I calmly walked through it as though I wasn't bleeding from everywhere.

I did this with everything that came up in my way. A chair, for example, was in my path, so I tried walking through it. All I did was knock it over, and then push it along as I moved forward. Eventually it did get out of my way. This would happen with tables, glassware, and large windows. I came to a tree that I didn't like, but decided that, for now, it could stay.

I came to a wall. And no matter what I did, it would not fall over or make a path for me. I thought of television shows, where I could make a hole in the wall the exact shape and dimensions as myself. But I could not realize this dream. Eventually I had to lie down.

I hoped for the future. I think I would like to be a cyborg. They are made of metal, and can easily walk through anything that is in their path. That could be my dream. Actually, come to think of it, a metal suit wouldn't be that bad. That, or attaching a giant buzzsaw to my arm.

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