Berated An Olympic Swim Team
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
“You guys suck!” I yelled with my hands cupped around my mouth, to the Olympic swim team that I saw passing by.
“How did you get past security?” they said as they dried themselves after their practice.
“How did you not get past those Russians?” I said, referring to their silver medal finish in the Olympics of that year.
They started to run away.
“And can one of you learn to backstroke quickly, for fuck’s sake?” I said, as they exited the room.
Four security guards came in and removed my kidney.