Used A Hang Glider Improperly
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I went to the edge of a cliff with a hang glider, which I had no idea how to use. I didn't think it would be so hard. It looked completely easy - you just hold on to the thing, and then jump off. The wind carries you. Great.
When I landed in the ocean, surprised but otherwise unscathed, it occurred to me that I might have used it wrong. So I wondered how to use it. Was I supposed to turn it upside down? Sideways? Was I supposed to jump backwards from the cliff? Did I not have enough weight on me?
After these tests were carried out, I concluded that I probably should have asked someone before using it. Maybe I could have gotten that guy I stole the hang glider from to teach me.