Hid Out In A Library
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
It was a major operation, that involving making a duplicate of the bathroom key and hiding out until everyone had left. Then I opened the door and spent the night in the library.
You'd think it would be a good idea, but in fact it was not. I had no interested in reading the thousands of books there. Nor did I have any way of using the equipment to play CDs or DVDs. I mostly wanted just to be somewhere that I didn't belong? I thought that the library was the easiest. I suppose I should have thought this through. I mean, without reading, what did I actually plan on doing there?
I mostly slept. In the morning I was found by two librarians, who bound me to a chair with a ducttape and called the police. I decided to make up stories that were more interesting than what actually happened. How I read through every book, making sure to take them all individually into the bathroom. Or how I knocked over all the shelves and replaced the books on them, one by one, in the wrong order. Or that I had brought a bottle of water and a fan and sat washing and drying them for hours.
Of course, because I said these things I was given a longer jail sentence, which really makes me wish I had kept my mouth shut.