Crashed A Car Into A Potato Chip
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I set up a potato chip, hung in mid-air by a string, suspended from a nearby tree. Then I got in a car at least a few hundred feet away, put the pedal to the floor, and smashed right into that fucking chip. It was unrecognizable by the time I passed by. In fact, I think it might have been entirely vaporized. There was no trace of it. whatever pieces it exploded into were so tiny that they were rendered insignificant. Maybe on the molecular level they exist? But who really gives a shit about that. For all intents and purposes, it was gone.
Sadly the car also crashed into that tree, and I had neglected to wear a seatbelt, and was thus launched out of the car and into the side of a nearby above-ground pool. But I don't want to dwell on that. You should have seen that chip. Motherfucking right.