Saturday, April 30, 2011

Story #130 - Fell Short of Expectations - MBD #30

This concludes another Month of Bad Decisions! 30 stories in 30 days! Thanks for reading. I'm not sure if there will be another LOBD until next April, but if you'd like to submit something for the site then please do!

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Fell Short of Expectations
by Dan Schwartz

I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.

When I was a kid, my mom told me that I was a straight A student, that I was a good person, that I was going to have a good life. So I decided that she was wrong.

I did badly in school, and eventually dropped out of high school. I stole, lied, cheated. I made sure that whenever I needed to do the right thing, I always did the opposite.

I got into hard drugs almost immediately. I ran away from home and started living on the street, in a different town, a different state. I made very few friends and got into very many fights. I tried going to rehab, but I knew that that would be too helpful for me.

And I made sure my family knew what I was doing. They needed to see that I was not going to take care of myself. That I was going to fail at everything I tried to do, and that it was my decision to do so. I think they eventually did realize that I would never live up to whatever they had thought I would.

I feel fine. It's a decision that I live with, and that I think matters to me. In any case I think that I feel better than I would otherwise. All I want is for you not to remember me.

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