Blocked Out The Sun
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
I was going to block out the sun because I was tired of its rays and its shining all the time so what I did I jumped off from Earth and with my suit on I went to the sun and said, "Hey, what's all this, why, why did you do this," and the sun didn' talk cause it's made of gas or something. So I was like "Fuck you" and used a rocketship. But don't you know that the sun is a middle-class star and it's full of Earths??? So damn it.
There had to be another way. I figured the best way was "emotional therapy" so I tried talking to the sun, trying to figure out its problems so it would go away. But it didn't work, the sun had too much confidence and wouldn't listen to me or engage with me. Nothing is working! So I decided I would just try to live in a permanent eclipse. I guess it was selfish to try to block it out for everyone, I would just block it out for me!!! So this is why I have a permanent black box over my head. How are you?