T.S. Eliot once wrote, "April: fuck that shit, fucking forever," and in that spirit we present the Month of Bad Decisions! Please enjoy.
Poured Maple Syrup Over Everything
by Dan Schwartz
I wanted to live in the land of bad decisions. In order to live in the land of bad decisions, you have to make some bad decisions.
Here we go! Get ready everybody! Your cars drivers diamonds phones restaurants Tauruses bulls lions zoos aquariums trees baseballs comics libraries delivery trucks warehouses dance scenes dialogues taquerias lights sandwiches killing fields oil spills thorns witches sandalwood -- they are all going to get covered in maple syrup. All of them! Everything! It is the best thing to be done. Can we cover maple syrup in maple syrup??? Wait I'm just finding out - Yes! We can. This is the way the world is, this is the way the world is, this is the way the world is. It's sticky but it's worth it.